Since 2013 I care for eight Bufo Alvarius Toads, also called Sonoran Desert Toad.
It is one of the most amazing creatures on earth. The Toads live in a very “Toad hostile” area in south-west Northern America and North-West Mexico. A desert is really no place for a water loving amphibian. However the Toads evolutionary adopted and survived. Their secret during the hot summers is that they are hiding deep below the surface for 2/3 of the year- 8months! When coming up from the rain falling during the winter season they find a partner, make Toad Love and then the breeding starts- which is an unbelievable fast process. In only two weeks the tadpoles go through metamorphosis to the tiny, but “complete” little Toadlets. Then all of them, young and adult, start eating like crazy until a few weeks later they all go (back) underground.
The toads living with us are not taken from the wild, they were captive breed in South Germany and I raised them since there where 3cm babies. They are all healthy and meanwhile most of them are adult. They have a good life in a very well sized vivarium, provided with all the comfort, food and Love they need. They are the used to being touched and are not defensive. They stay peacefully in my hand when I take them out. I really love them and having seen them grow from these tiny guys under my care was and still is a great pleasure. I have always been on “both sides” when I needed to “milk” them for their “magic secretion”.
Below a picture of two little toadies, 3months old. I got them at half the size!
Like all Toads they have two huge glands (actually it is a collection of single glands) behind their eyes and some smaller ones on all legs. Typically with Bufo Species this glands contain the psychedelic Tryptamine Bufotenin (5-OH-N,N,DMT). The Alvarius Toad has an enzyme (unique to the species) in the system, which methoxylates the Bufotenin into 5- Methoxy- Dimethyltryptamine (5-MeO-N,N,DMT). This is a very powerful psychedelic Tryptamine and has also been found in humans, so presumably it is endogenously produced in the human brain.
The difference to DMT is the 3-4 times higher potency, the only slightly visionary properties and the highly energetic nature of the experience. From the comparison with other drugs containing Methoxy groups I personally believe that this unique intense energetic stimulation is induced in the brain through the Methoxy group. (MeO is a Methyl group bond to an Oxygen atom)
5MeO DMT is typically smoked or vaporized. A full dose when ingested that way is as little as 15mg. (full dose of vaporised DMT is 50-60mg) If the crystalline freebase is used this amount is easily inhaled with a vaporizing device. Or it also can be smoked, since it turns out to be quite heat stable and doesn’t break down. In my sessions I am meanwhile using a mixture of pure white crystalline 5MeO DMT freebase together with the Toad secretion from my Toads and layered between their dried skin (from shedding), since this also contains alkaloids. Why I am not offering the secretion only I will explain below.
Other forms of ingestion for the crystalline 5MeO DMT is snuffed or also rectally, this way the experience is more gentle and lasts up to 50minutes instead of the typical quite short 15minutes. I am offering the smoked (or vaporised) experience, since typically people are interested in the short overwhelming experience with ingestion through the lung, since most reports are based on this way. The experience starts almost instantly after smoking (or vaporising) and then quickly peaks until after 5-8minutes the person slowly comes back to the body.
I know it does sound scary “to leave the body”, however since the experience is so overwhelming and can be very euphoric, most people do not have a chance to think about what is happening- which actually is the core idea of the whole trip. To give you an idea what the experience is like the easiest way to describe it would be that if feels like staring at the sun and then dissolving in its overwhelming warm brightness, like taking a bath in liquid sunshine.
However let me now use this homepage to also talk about the other possible outcome of a 5Meo DMT experience, and why I think that the media hype taking place for the 5MeO DMT experience is nothing I am really a supporter of- or at least not in the way it is taking place.
With more people from spiritual communities being interested in psychedelics and the need to have something more potent for the “psychonauts” who repeatedly go to psychedelic retreats, the use of the above described very potent 5MeO DMT has been getting more and more popular. In the past the substance was used in the 1970s more in the underground and then got more attention in the 1990s to 2000s during the begin of a “Research Chemical Hype”, until it then vanished officially due to the prosecution starting 2011 in the US.
Now the approach is following more the shamanic way- seeing it as a “medicine”, which enables “healing” and “release”. Synthetic 5MeO DMT is almost impossible to buy anymore, since the main production came from China, where it is meanwhile also banned. So the only source for the experience left seems to be the Bufo alvarius secretion, which is “harvested” to great extends from the wild Toads of the Sonoran desert, mostly on the Mexican side. Meanwhile “marketed” as “Sapo” or “Bufo” or “Toad” – 5MeO DMT is flooding Youtube, Reddit and other Spiritual and Psychedelic Forums. And with it the famous facilitators of the sessions and the positive only speaking Propagandists grow in numbers.
It is mostly labelled as an only positive and euphoric experience, a guarantee to “ego death”, an “instant pill to enlightenment”. However if one searches the internet thoroughly enough, information about the other, the “dark side” of the substance can be found. Due to the almost instantaneous way the chemical enters the brain, raising to an unbelievably intense peak experience, it can be very beneficial to experience the true nature of reality. But although no one wants to hear this- it is also not for everyone.
I learned from many experiences with a lot of different people, that some seem to need that little push to go beyond themselves. While others just search a quick release of their mostly self-inflicted misery. Or want to smash their “bad ego” out of control. Or simply just follow the hype and now also want to become “enlightened”. But these people seem to be getting “crushed” by the experience. The least unwanted outcome could simply be a blackout, with no memory of the experience at all. Or this paired with intense physical resistance like kicking, punching and rolling around. Also intense screaming shows sometimes that there is something different happening than just a joyful expression to be alive. Often these intense reactions then go along with the blackout, so people are very surprised to hear what they did, since they remember absolutely nothing of that.
The worst case scenario is that intense anxiety, flashbacks and in some cases the need for psychiatric care takes place in the weeks afterwards. This is also much more the case if no proper care is present and the session is overall not done in a responsible way. To prevent these outcomes a proper screening of participants, the building of a trusted relationship and a sufficient time frame for the session is crucial. Sadly the opposite way to work with 5MeO seems to be standard.
There is something else I want to make aware of which also leads into explaining why I am now enhancing the Toad secretion with the crystalline form.
There are now a lot more people entering the desert during the rain season searching Bufo Alvarius Toads. I have recently heard from a trusted source that even the Mexican drug cartels are now involved to obtain and sell the drug in large scales on international markets. Since Toads are night active, the hunts take place at night and the animals are collected in all sizes (even juveniles) and in huge numbers and then are violently rob them off their secretion. Wild Toads do not know humans and are afraid when they get caught. This they show with a defence mechanism by blowing themselves up and peeing on their attacker. Puffing sounds and kicking with the will to escape is also present.
Milking them by pressing their glands is an unpleasant act for them, they close the eyes when doing so and show signs of stress. Also something which I want to make aware of is the fact that the glands can get infected. If this occurs the toad gets an inner infection and a lot of pus builds up, which if not released can spread further and finally kill the toad. So it is crucial to disinfect the glands after the extraction with a special disinfectant suitable for amphibians. And to control the glands a few days afterwards.
However this all is impossible with wild toads, right? Finally I want to raise attention to the fact that the secretion is acting as venom for predators in nature. So the toads needs it to defend itself. Since it takes 6weeks to replenish the reservoir of secretion- what does the toad do if it gets attacked during that time frame?
Just like the Ayahuasca plants the Toads are a part of our natural ecosystem that we should only protect and not violently abuse. Mimosa root bark is a much better, much richer source for the DMT. Or even better- Mushrooms can be grown fast and easy, ecologically and economically. Harmala seeds as a potent source for Harmine/Harmalin are the best and easiest way to go- they are excessively available.
And to use the crystalline 5MeO DMT from either extractions of plants sources (Anadenanthera Peregrina f.e.) or from a professional chemical factory (Canada, NL) would be the wise and compassionate way. The Bufo Alvarius Toads are already an endangered species- a few years more and they may be threatened to die out. Not to speak of the fact that obtaining their “medicine” is a scary and stressful process for them.
Which finally brings me to the reason why I won’t continue to offer, “Toad Magic-only” experiences. I will mix it now with 5MeO DMT freebase and are planning to only use the crystalline 5MeO DMT in the future. For now I will reduce the milking to the lowest minimum to safe my beloved buddies the hassle. Cause even though they know me and are ok and not stressed by the touching- they do not like having their glands squeezed. (Imagine you have severe acne and your mum constantly wants to empty the pus…)
So all this being said- I wouldn’t offer 5MeO DMT session, if I wouldn’t be sure that it is beneficial. However as mentioned- I do not think it is for everyone. I see huge benefit for people who already have had a good share of suffering, who are willing to give up, who are old enough to look back on some real life experiences and who are already living gratitude and able to trust and Love.
I am not supporting people seeking to “kill their ego”, needing more “enlightenment”, the “purging of old energies” or who are simply just having seen to many YouTube videos about it- without really knowing what a psychedelic drug is. If you see the truth in what I share and want to give it try, I would be happy to get in touch- write me message on the contact page. Thank you very much for your trust.
Let me point out again that I do not want to offend anyone with the above, do not want to judge or by any means say that only I speak the truth. It is all based on my experience and truly only my way of seeing things. Let me finish with the question “Is a “spiritual awakening”, an “enlightenment”, which demands that an innocent animal suffers or which only takes place through the cost of overexploiting a rare plant of the Amazonian jungle, really so “spiritual” at all ?