Thank you very much for showing interest to work with me as a caretaker for a Psychedelic Session.
I am approaching the use of Psychedelic drugs from a different viewpoint than what is seen in typical retreats and session. The psychedelics I use are Harmin/Harmaline from Peganum Harmala Seeds together with Psilocin/Psilocybin from a very potent species of Psilocybe Mushrooms, which are grown by myself, 100% natural and untreated. This mixture I call Psilohuasca. I also use crystalline, freebase 5MeO DMT together with the secretion of the Sonoran Desert Toad. The Toads live under my care and are from a breeder in Europe, so not taken from the wild. The freebase 5MeO DMT is produced from professional and official Dutch laboratory and is further re-crystallised to 100% purity by myself.
It is not possible to have both experiences in one session. The time between the two sessions needs to be at least four weeks. This way I am helping the client to first integrate the experience before rushing into another. I see this being a common practice in psychedelic circles, which I personally see very critically. The real message the psychedelic experience delivers is taking place by the integration into daily perception.
I have been doing group retreats with both substances for the past four years. For more than three years now I am also offering private, individual sessions with single persons or couples. With the guests on the weekends and those private 1:1 and 1:2 sessions I have served around 600 clients. From my experience through this work in the past six years I learned that an individual session is the most beneficial approach to working with the high dosages of the psychedelic drugs I use.
I have a “screening process”, through which I decide if I will be able to offer an interested person a session together. When using psychedelics in a maximum dosage range to open up to the possibility of releasing out of the thinking mind (what is often called “Ego- Death”), it is absolutely crucial that full trust and a loving atmosphere is present. To make this possible and tune in and get close I ask a lot of private questions during the initial sign-up. Everything shared will handled strictly confidential and surely stays between the attendee and myself. I also meanwhile use a mail hoster with encryption.
At least one full day free of work is needed for a TOAD /5MeO DMT Session. The event will be conducted around the south of the Netherlands- please understand that all details about the place will be given only personally. The sessions are taking place from 9am to 2pm, so if a client needs to travel longer than an hour to this place, an overnight stay is a must. Affordable hotels are nearby. Also four airports are accessible in less than 2 hours by train.
The meeting starts with a long walk in the nearby forest, where exchange of each other’s “life stories” takes place. A lot of the topics from the sign up mails will be addressed again and looked at from different perspective. Also previous experiences with psychedelics, expectations and possible anxiety for the upcoming experience will be addressed. The time frame allows for a non-stressful and laid back atmosphere. As previously mentioned, it is a crucial part of the session to get to know each other and build trust to go together through this intense experience.
Once back from the walk, we enter the space where the session will be conducted, settle down and slowly start approaching the moment where the psychedelic experience takes place. My work as a caretaker is to have the client safe during the whole experience. To help with focussing on the “inner universe” I believe that input on the senses need to be minimized as much as possible. Lying down flat without pressure in the body in an almost dark surrounding is in my personal view crucial for any psychedelic experience. I have found that as addition to the room’s atmosphere silently played ambient music of Brian Eno adds a very subtle warm layer of comfort.
This however is surely not a must. I am just not recommending any melodic music since it will interfere with the experience. Therefore I also am not a supporter of chanting or any other shamanic practice before or during the experience.
Once the 5MeO DMT wears off a lovely healthy vegetarian (or vegan on request) lunch will close the day for the guest. The food is always prepared fresh in the morning and served with a salad. The time together will end with a visit of the Toads. They are used to humans and are not scared, so it is even possible to touch them. Just do not expect them to transform into a prince or princess when you kiss them.
Please understand that a Psilohuasca/Mushrooms session needs a much bigger time frame around the actual psychedelic experience. At least three full days must be free from any responsibilities. Due to the intense, life changing nature of the experience it is strongly advised to look more for a 4-5days break from work. I am not supporting a medium dosed mushroom session, but maybe with my friend and partner from the group retreats this might be possible. The Harmin/Harmaline dose given is always the same, the Psilocybin/Psilocin dose can be measured quite precise, since the species I use does not have fluctuations in overall alkaloid content.
The dose will be fully transparent to the client and is relying on possible previous experiences, gender, body weight and age. What I describe above about how I conduct a 5MeO session also applies for the Psilohuasca session. Surely the overall time of the experience and also the time before and after the experience will be significantly longer. To have the experience during the night is crucial, since the peaceful, dark character of the night supports the reduction of the sensual system. Before I leave the next day, we will have time for sharing and maybe even another walk outside. The overall time we share together for a Psilohuasca session typically is between 20-22hrs.
When Ayahuasca started to become popular more than a dozen years ago the main approach to the experience was just copied from the shamanic beliefs of the natives in South America. Surely most of the sessions were taking place in their origin anyway. Then more and more people started to offer sessions in the west when Ayahuasca went mainstream. In these days there are Ayahuasca sessions taking place in almost every western country, in many cities and a lot of cities even have multiple facilitators. What mostly still remains is the view and belief system around the experience- that of a shamanic view. I see shamanism as nothing different than any other religion, a dual approach to the true nature of reality, which is unconditional Love.
Without the separation in a “me” seeing “entities” and “spirits” or the need for a shaman “shifting energies” and “holding spaces”. The true guidance is taking place from within, not from a person guiding. This led to the creation of a sort of personality, a form of “shamanic Ego”, which is based on the idea that more “healing” or “medicine” is needed or more “release” of energy. This ends in a never ending search for more, by repeatedly visiting one session after the other. It is not rare that people tell me about dozens of sessions they had- however all never delivered a final healing.
To be fair it surely doesn’t help that western Ayahuasca is in most cases just a fragment of the real jungle brew. But even in its origin greed for money brought up endless fake shamans to the surface, offering low to zero effective brews- or not even rarely sexual assaults. Which btw. also applies to some western sessions. Due to the publicity for Ayahuasca, word about its spiritual properties has spread to “spiritual circles”. A lot look down on psychedelics as a tool to achieve “enlightenment”, the holy grail of spirituality. Seeing it as cheap shortcut with no real “awakening” properties. But what I see is that the term “enlightenment” has become very popular in psychedelic communities as well.
I guess partially due to that, the past few years 5MeO DMT is getting more and more attention. Word has spread that even repeated use of Ayahuasca, Peyote and even “Changa” (freebase DMT on plant material- with or without added MAOi) is not delivering enlightenment. It happens that for some 5MeO DMT can do exactly this. So many, many people are now trying, what is by its believers marketed as the “instant pill to enlightenment”. However- I personally have learned through working with many of such seeking people, that this is just another trap of the mind to have more, more, more. So the whole game starts again- now needing more 5MeO DMT sessions to be finally healed- pardon “enlightened”.
So what is it that I do different, especially since I am also working with 5MeO DMT? The core is, that I am not supporting the belief that psychedelics are a guarantee to enlightenment. Especially 5MeO DMT I see much more critical than most of the sources on the internet. As a result I am not offering a session to everyone. The sign up/screening process is a crucial part of my sessions, and if someone is not openly sharing their background, process and beliefs I won’t be able to work for them. I believe that the information on what to do with the “spiritual awakening” is just as important as the actual experience itself. Not infrequently people already had a natural form of awakening, but just get obsessed with obtaining more of it, or seeking a “constant stage of enlightenment”.
To be “spiritual” is already one step away from the truth which is unconditional (Love). Most of my clients, and you can also read this in the many testimonials, found that the wisdom I share, in how to grow from the awakening itself, is equally beneficial and valuable to them as the psychedelic experience itself. Let your remembering, that all conditions, all positions, all opinions are nothing but forms of the one, become a mantra for living a life in service and gratitude to your true self. Namaste.
Please let me again point out that everything I am saying and sharing is only my individual perspective and only based on my experiences. I am not saying that my view is the truth and that others are wrong. We are all perceiving reality through our individual collection of information and experiences which the brain uses to filter into what each of us calls “reality”.
You can get in contact with me through the contact form below. I use a secure mail hoster, so no information is exposed to third parties. All further information and questions will be exchanged personally by mail, this also includes the typical donation given in return for my work.
I HAVE TO POINT OUT THAT I AM NOT A TEACHED PSYCHOTHERAPIST. The work as an experienced caretaker however is coming from long years of practice and experience with the sacraments and the states they evoke in humans. Feedback of my clients show that it’s much better to have learned from life and not from a book. But it is crucial that I get all the personal information I need when signing up for a session, so I can decide if a session is at all possible.