TestimonialS - Psilohuasca
I had a very beautiful Psilohuasca private session with Olli. Although I’m quite experienced with entheogens, the intense and deep experience the high dosed mushrooms offered me, was new to me. Olli is the right person if you are looking for the experience he has to offer. The loving and comforting atmosphere he creates makes it very easy to feel free and secure during the experience.
Since my psilohuasca experience it is much easier for me to ‘ground’ again in truth when I start to loose myself in thoughts or emotions. That’s because during my trip I had the experience of being a loving, living and conscious presence without any boundary. This is the space I now have to ‘ground’ myself if necessary. Because I remember that state.
Besides that I also re-lived some personal situations, but now I was able to see them without guild or other stuff I, until then, had projected onto them. So for me it was a beautiful trip, exactly what I needed.
The Psilohuasca session was challenging for both me and my wife, but thanks to the loving and caring energy from Oliver it became a beautiful life changing experience. We instantly felt we were in good hands. Oliver is patient, compassionate and funny. He gave love when needed and made us laugh when we got too caught up in our ego´s seriousness.
After the session I´m able to receive the love I've been denying myself to protect me from being hurt. And by doing that I can also love others fully and unconditionally – even my parents that I've not even been able to speak to for a while. My wife has been suffering from anxiety for most of her life has been free from anxiety ever since the session. Before she had to take Xanax or sleeping pills at least a couple of times per week, and now it´s not needed anymore. It´s not possible to even begin to explain how or why, but does it really matter?
It’s easier to say than done, having no expectations about a weekend stacked up with ‘strangers’ in a 16th century castle somewhere in the South of the Netherlands. The thing with expectations is that you can get disappointed if the experience doesn’t live up to what you thought or hoped it would be. But hey, there is also a different way things can turn out. All ingredients of the weekend summed up to so much more than I thought imaginable. The lovely people who I can whole-heartedly call my friends, the beautiful environment which enacted a smile upon my face the instant I arrived, the calm and contemplative warmth of Jeroen and the energetic spirit of Olli. Oh and the food…yummy yummy!
In one weekend, I adventured the depths and broads of my human and spiritual spectrum. I laughed, cried, touched, smelled, listened, talked, hoped, gave up, fought and surrendered. And the most beautiful thing of it all is I have received the means to go back to that place anytime I need or feel like it. Friends, alleys, teachers, spirits: thank you. See you around. Ciao!
In the pursuit of my spiritual journey, I travelled far and high. I went to the jungle to do ayahuasca, I climbed some sacred mountains, I read loads of difficult books, I studied and I analysed everything to find the meaning of life. My life has come to a halt as I was trying to figure out life. But with all that I have done, I didn’t find peace nor joy. I become so serious, so bitter and cynical.
As I was reading William Blake’s Marriage of Heaven and Hell, I got a strong feeling that Blake was in fact writing about magic mushroom experiences. I was so curious about the mushroom, I googled and found a psilohuasca retreat in Amsterdam. I don’t really know why, but I always believe I have to go whenever my soul takes me. So right away, I knew this is where I have to be.
The psilohuasca weekend is probably one of the best things that has happened to me. The toad gently soothed my soul, helped me purged the traumatised energies that had been stuck in my heart for so long. The psilohuasca was deep, intensely powerful yet gentle at the same time. Words are not very useful in describing a realm where there’re no words but just symbols. To keep it short, my biggest learning is there is no absolute right and wrong. Things are just the way they are. But we can choose where we put our focus and energies on. They are like food for our ‘mind machine’. What food do we want to feed our body, mind and soul?
I didn’t see God, I didn’t get enlightened, I didn’t change into a magical being after the psilohuasca. I am still the same old me, full of flaws, a bit neurotic, but mushroom has taught me to breath, to stay calm amid the biggest chaos, be ok with who I am and most important of all – to trust life. The most sacred journey is not the mind altering journey but the journey of living life itself. This weekend has brought joy and love back to my life.
And most important of all, we are all well looked after by the most generous and sweetest souls, Olli and Jeroen, they work so hard to make sure we make the most out of the weekend. The food, the music, the lighting, the house, the whole experiences are so surreal, you can’t find anything as cool & sweet as the psilohuasca weekend.
And now I am going back to the real work – living my life fully again!
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart, Thank you very much for your sharing. For me was it the most beautiful experience. I feel like real awakening to the New Shift of our consciousness and of Mother Earth. And I feel really like a warrior of the New Time for the Peace on Earth…with a huge smile in my Heart and on my face…and if you here the calling Voice: “HULA…” (you can remind it with the peaceful warrior) I was looking today how can I help and serve other to help them also to awake. But I realized, there is nothing to do, right now. Just to be yourself and stay in your Love…and see all People as you and love everybody, because everybody is you and you are God and God is LOVE.
Big hugs and endless love to all of you, I feel really humble and grateful to Olli and Jeroen, Thank you, thank you, thank you…
So after finding a lot of enthusiasm in the psycho spiritual community on the internet about psilocybin and 5-meo, I decided to discover what the hype is all about. I needed a provider in Europe, since I live in Italy. And I found the one and only psilohuasca.com. I liked the original approach and decided to take the leap with my fiancée but since I was so impatient I decided for a 1 on 2 private ceremony. The pressure was high, both me and my fiancée are successful entrepreneur and we can’t afford to damage ourselves at this point but the desire for a spiritual awakening was higher.
Olli is a wonderful person, caring and encouraging so all is well and the toad experience went like a charm, intense joy and happiness like never before. The day after came the biggest moment, I was relaxed since the positive outcome of the toad, but psilo is indeed another beast.
After 2 hours of the ingestion we woke up with severe amnesia and strong hallucination in which we thought we were dead, me and my GF were walking around trying to make sense, hopefully Olli was there and he succeeded in assuring and remembering my fiancée what we have done and that there’s nothing to worry about, we needed just to go back to lie down.I was definitely in an extreme paranoid state, thinking this setup was meant to take my soul so I kept trying to escape from the house to ask for help.
Then finally I recuperated some of my memory, listened to my fiancée, laid on bed, closed my eyes and surrendered. Man after that I have assisted at the biggest show ever, I was literally destructed, felt the death of my physical body, shown that it doesn’t matter, it’s not the end, it’s another beginning, shown how big is the universe and how small I ‘am, felt hopeless and humble for a while, Then I met god and felt invincible, asked for the meaning of my life and what I’m all about. The visuals were so beautiful the answers to my questions were symbolic but straight, sensation were ecstatic and blissful (at the end) and the music of Olli was orchestrating all my visions in a perfect timing. I still listen to his music and remember clearly the images and the messages I have received from the mushrooms. The day after we ate a lot of ice cream and chocolates, walked around a lake close by, and we were blessed and happy for our experience. Olli will be in our heart forever and we’ll always remember that if he hadn’t hide the key of the house from me, there would be no magic right now.
So to everyone- this experience will be the most intense and significant of your life, you can’t miss. And if you can, go for the private session, you’re in safe hands. God bless you all!
Overall I found the weekend really wonderful and amazing. Oli and Jeroen are beautiful souls that really take care of you. They create a perfect environment where it’s really safe and trusted to go deep with the medicine. The medicines are really powerful, they take you to your original state of no-mind and that can be scary sometime. But in the end you’re in perfectly safe hands. The experiences were overwhelmingly beautiful for me. After you return from your original no-mind state the whole of your Earthly life becomes so much more into perspective. I’m grateful to have attended the weekend and I will definitely return.
The toad is a beautiful medicine. I experienced it one time before and that was amazing. This time is was again an amazing journey. The toad takes you fast and deep to your original state of no-mind. It opened me up to the greatness that I am. It was also a perfect start for the weekend so everybody could see each others process.
I also had some experience with the mushroom but not one that was so deep and powerful as the one I experienced in this weekend. The mushrooms really take you very deep for a very long time. Where the toad is very short the mushrooms last for hours. This gave me the time to really sink into the experience. It was both daunting and beautiful. The safe environment Oli and Jeroen create really ensured that everybody can have is own process and return safely.
Our perception of reality is governed by the limited ranges of our five (or possibly six?) senses. Essentially these ranges act as filters to maintain an ordered sense of reality. What actually exists beyond our filters is infinite and chaotic, so that what we experience is a microcosm: but also necessary I believe for the sake of our continued sanity. For instance, radio waves surround us constantly but we cannot perceive them, except through the use of a radio receiver, and if we could it would be almost impossible to ignore them and their constant background chatter.
Beyond this there are dimensions above the three dimensions that we are capable of experiencing. The dynamics and machinations of a three dimensional world are completely unimaginable to something which exists in only two dimensions (such as lines on a piece of paper). Similarly a four dimensional world is entirely unimaginable to us inhabiting our three dimensions. Current quantum understanding states that there may be as many as ten spacetime dimensions (in superstring theory), which originates from a more fundamental eleven-dimensional theory (M-theory), but again this is the limit of our current understanding.
It is my belief that psychedelic substances enable us (for a limited time) to extend the limits of these ranges, and thus the filters, by which our senses perceive reality. Allowing us to experience more of what is actually out there, and perhaps in some cases (e.g. DMT) allowing us to perceive other dimensions way beyond our usual language, numeric and pictorial based way of comprehending things.
These are exciting times because we are (re)discovering a portal to an advanced consciousness that I believe will be the redemption of humanity as a whole. It is no coincidence that this is happening now at the dawning of ‘the age of aquarius’. I believe that those who seek to explore this advanced consciousness will lead the way to a more evolved species of human that is capable of a greater understanding of what is actually possible and of transcending to higher dimensions. The emergence of Indigo and Crystal children, widely reported to have two more active strands of DNA, are IMHO proof that we are on the verge of a new age of expanded human consciousness. It is pioneers like us ‘Psilohuascanauts’ (or ‘Psilohuascateers’ if you prefer) that will lead the way forward to a more compassionate, forgiving and loving future. The ‘golden age’ is almost upon us brothers and sisters and we are the vanguard at the forefront of a new and very exciting frontier.
Olli and Jeroen are pointing the way for us at the moment and the work they are doing is beyond comparison. These retreats are essential to understanding and achieving this higher consciousness. I heartily recommend them.
As a disclaimer I must say: this 8-12 hour experience is actually so far beyond description, so far beyond the reach of any word, any concept, any idea, that the mind cannot even imagine it. It can only be lived through. Yet, for the record, for inner processing, and for the sake of sharing, I will nonetheless write down some impressions, some memories.
This has been the most intense, overwhelming and astonishing experience in my life, to which Ayahuasca, Peyote and LSD do not even come close, let alone MDMA. It was simultaneously the most ecstatic as the most painful (not physically, but emotionally) night in my life.
Within a single moment, laughing and crying flow back and forth, morph, until all possible feelings are felt at one and the same time, in all rawness, power, depth and fierceness – unconditionally, fully, completely, through bone and morrow, with spontaneous and uncensored expression through the entire body (all muscles, tendons, joints, the face, the voice, the breath).
Laughing so uncontrollably and freely that I shake and tremble, and a symphony of giggles leaves my mouth. There is also such relieving instinctive honesty and sincerity about and insights in my-body-and-mind-and-behaviour, the bad-and-the-good, with so much care, gentleness and love.
Crying, even without tears, for my own suffering, and the suffering of friends and family, and in the world, so openly that my heart seems to im- and explode a thousand times, so engulfing that for hours a lamenting ‘oh nooo, noooo, nooooo’ almost involuntarily accompanies my exhalations. Especially when the effects began to fade, and I could not understand how ‘’I’’, from that extremely expanded state of consciousness, would ever be able to get back to that body, that personality, that mind, those life conditions. It seemed impossible, a tragedy, traumatic, mourning, an incomparable and unbearable loss. Humility. Awe. Grace.
Because ‘’I’’ as M – a body with mind in space-and-time – dissolved into pure energy, pure consciousness. There was no reference even feasible – neither to a solid or stable (perceivable) outside world, nor to any image or thought inside. There was no anchoring point available, because time, both the concept and as a sense of continuity, linearity, history-and-future, dis-appeared. Everything was happening ‘’constantly simulatenously’’, and in loops. Short-term memory was not functioning, therefore I kept asking, over and over again, truly surprised, to nobody in particular, but flabbergasted and bewildered: ‘What…?’ ‘Is this real?’ I tried to check, but there was nothing suitable with which to verify, neither yes nor no. There was nothing left to locate a ‘me’ or ‘mine’, or to contrast now-from-then, or here-from-there. Every few ‘seconds’ I was flooded with this startling disbelief and genuine disorientation: ‘ ‘What is going on?’ ‘Is this really happening?’ ‘Oh my God/Goodness’.
‘I’ was in, or am actually, a dimension (i.e. a level of awareness, or source) that is more priomordial, more encompassing, mysterious, absolute, undeniable and undefinable than birth and death, than life or death, where all dualities fall apart. Beyond transcendental. And not just intellectually, not just ‘spiritually’, but as an all-consuming living experience and reality that shatters, melts and dis-integrates your ordinary identity, self-image and his/her-story. But so piercingly and pervasively that it it hurts-in-the-heart like no sensory pain can ever hurt, yet it liberates so totally that you are laughing without reason, just for seeing-being the truth, and how insanely simple it is. Yet, no emotion, no feeling, not even all emotions, all feelings at the same time, can contain that, can express it – the intensity, the wholeness, the energetic discharges throughout the nervous system.
The senses were so impermanent, so fluid, whirling, a flux, that if I looked at people or objects, they appeared ghost-like, flickering in-and-out-of-existence, as well as transforming themselves continously, showing a multitude of perspectives, of shapes, of scenario’s. It was almost impossible to differentiate between self-and-other, that ‘barrier’ became semipermeable. I did not know any longer, nor even how I could know, what was real, or a dream, or what ‘me’ means.
In 12 hours, more than enough experience for a lifetime. After this, what’s left to chase, or achieve? There’s nothing that can be deeper or higher or greater or further, or even need to be…
During the trip, when a thought came up of family and friends, especially those who are sick or in difficulty, I felt a great urge and desire for them to experience this too, to discover this, because its the experience of a lifetime, more mysterious, more intense, more encompassing than life, death, relationships, sex, illness etc., because all distincions disappear, time and space and the body.
The combination location, people, care from Jeroen and Olli including food and Lauretana galore, all was simply superb!
I am not a newbie to Psilohuasca, yet this ceremony was quite special. It was a very internal process, deep enough to comprehend a lot of intricacies how my ego and soul function yet absolutely conscious. Considering how much struggle a few other participants had during the ceremony night, my night was a piece of cake. It was so very beautiful too!
Two weeks on, and I am still high on the power that I started to feel after the ceremony. It feels like, things come at you in life, difficult situations, people, you deal with them but because you feel this power inside nothing ever can affect you. It’s really a great feeling because you hurt less, you just take things in life as they come to you. You deal with everyday stuff the best way you can and you let go of it. No longer need to hold onto anything.
I would recommend a Psilohuasca weekend to anyone whom are brave enough to step outside of their comfort zone and experience the magic of the sacraments. Also, let us not forget about the opportunity to meet wonderful people and learn something new!
Towards the end of last year, via several synchronistic events, I have found one of Olli’s podcasts and not long after that I got in touch and booked my place for March Psilohuasca weekend. It wasn’t too much of a conscious decision, more like something has been guiding me towards this. After few confusing experiences almost two years ago, a fear and sadness and mental clouds have been building up in me gradually. Even after I have already paid a deposit, there were thoughts of cancelling, giving up, maybe some other time… But that something has kept dragging me, it made me embark sleep deprived on an uncomfortable 12 hours journey across half of Europe on busses and trains and finally I have arrived and met Olli.
The bells from the nearby church were still ringing in my ears when we first hugged, and I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
Slowly over the next hours I was meeting the others, fellow travelers. Each one such a radiating presence, the whole group was an absolute delight to be part of. It helped me to ease a bit, but the fear was still strong and my mind chatting and rolling in my head. I didn’t participate in the toad magic the first evening, but just being present in the space where everyone was having such a strong transformative experiences, was extraordinary. Jeroen and Olli were always on the top of things, looking after each of us, preparing delicious food, securing the space, sharing love, holding hands.
The ego was still fighting hard the next day, but the defenses that cracked the day before finally gave in and lots of emotions poured out. It was liberating, refreshing, humbling. After great walk in the rain we slowly gathered for the evening journey. Each of us in their own worlds, but also very much together, connected. After we consumed the Peganum, I thought we will just sit and wait for an hour, but I was really nicely surprised by the effects of this cute looking seed. Warm and calming waves were washing over me and by the amused looks on the faces of others, I wasn’t alone. Finally, when the mushrooms entered the picture, I was ready, calm, meditative and without as many expectations as possible. And it was just perfect as I have received exactly what I needed. There were tears and laughs and dancing, but most of all there were insights. Like my mental glasses were cleaned and I could finally in quite some time see, what those previous two years were all about. It is now three weeks since and the clarity is still there and I am moving on with full power.
This is an extraordinary medicine, prepared with love, honesty and attention. The work Jeroen and Olli are doing, from picking a great venue to setting up a safe space and support, enable us to do our own work freely and without constrains. And for that I am forever grateful. Thank you, guys, I will be coming for more once again. Love.
The Psilohuasca weekend felt like coming home. Olli and Jeroen offered us such a great gift—the opportunity to meet others consciously (and bravely) following their paths, to bring psychedelic insights to the next level and a weekend filled with unconditional, all encompassing love.
Despite my fears, I decided to try the toad and it catapulted me into a state of blissful surrender. I entered a multidimensional, vibrantly colorful place of no sound and no ego—the nurturing Cosmic Womb that birthed me. By revisiting this place I felt reborn, delighted and cherished by the Universe. There was only one message, and it would replay itself throughout the weekend: all is love. You can never be separate from it. You don’t need to look for it. You can’t lose it. You ARE it!
The Psilohusca experience was heavier, deeper, more intense than I’ve experienced, giving me –or I want to say gifting me—with insight into myself, humanity and the nature of love. My ego was still present this time, but I saw it more as a friend accompanying me as I write the story of my life, which I’ve come to see as a immensely creative, jaw-droppingly beautiful process. This felt like an ayahuasca experience but so much stronger and longer. It will take a great deal of time to process and integrate everything for I felt like I was downloading information on a cellular level.
Olli and Jeroen are fantastic, loving men who looked after us so well and have inspired greater love in me. To dare to express it. They are giving back, helping to create greater unity. Thank you so much, thank you to the beautiful group I shared this experience with and I look forward to the next time!
It is always hard to know where to start. I could talk about the circumstances first. This was my second ceremony, so I was better prepared for it, or so I thought. But it still was overwhelming in its beauty and its teaching for me. It seemed like a benign force took me by the hand and led my further on my path for spiritual development than ever before.
I had a chat with my subconscious – which has a good sense of humour, as I found out. The love, companionship of everyone, the strength and immense knowledge of my sisters and brothers in mind engulfed me and showed me that the notion of being alone in this world is nothing but a notion indeed.
One of the most amazing things that happened was the visit by a huge dragonfly which embraced me and looked me right in the eyes. I believe that this is the animal spirit which guides me to the realm of nature, a soul animal. It told me to reach out more to others and my own creative side and strength and show trust and loving, no matter how hard it is. I saw past pain and complexes like cliffs crumbling under a tremendous force.
As was the case the last time my companions and especially our lovely shaman were with me and everyone else; it was the perfect balance of introspection, thought and learning as well as comradeship and love for everyone around us.
Olli is an exceptionally wise, loving, and generous person. He cared for every one of us unconditionally and without reserve.
It was not a typical ceremony where there was a panel of shamans and the participants. That hierarchy we happily managed to escape so maybe for those reasons it felt so right to be together because we were equal.
We came to this retreat to experience the healing magic of mushrooms, share our lives’ challenges, look at ourselves from a much more expanded universal perspective and live through our karmic drama. We came here as complete strangers and were leaving as one big family.